Plan A

Plan A was and is to be a full -time writer.

When I was a teenager, my heroes were the songwriters, arrangers and producers of great music. Of course, I enjoyed electric performers, but my spine tingled and my heart jumped more from the song than the performance of it.

The same is true of the theatre, television and film. The writers, directors and other people in the wings or behind the camera are the bomb to me.

And books! I love the story, for sure, but it’s the author who interests me.

Plan A has always been to be a creative in the arts working at the highest level with similarly talented people. So, what happened? How did I end up being a children’s teaching artist? What caused me to give up on Plan A and develop Plan B? Okay. Here it is…

Fears List #1

Fear of being rejected, unloved and made fun of. Fear of criticism, laughter and exclusion from the crowd. Fear of trying my best, being ignored and feeling hopelessly untalented – a quack and a moron for having even tried. Fear of being unoriginal, cliched and hopelessly behind the times.

Fears List #2

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”

The Adventure

Beth & Scott’s Adventure is many things, but for me it’s about returning to Plan A, to say, “I am a writer.” I’m guessing that everyone’s Plan A requires this kind of affirmation followed by a gigantic leap of faith into the unknown. May I find the love and light and sense the support that is all around me. May I divorce myself from a fear-based approach to life and live.

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