I can get out of bed, take a shower, and get dressed for another day.
I can show up for work, do my best, and try to be kind to everyone I meet.
I can shop for food, learn something new, and watch a little TV before bed.
Many years ago, a therapist told me that when you’re feeling down, it’s perfectly okay to get just a few things done. In fact, she said, “make it your goal to do three things, today.”
Giving ourselves permission to do less is sometimes the kindest, most loving way to treat ourselves. Some days, we don’t feel strong enough to slay dragons, so staying in the castle is a wise decision.
The combination of a cold winter, the national news and a few family issues were once upon a time insufficient to dull my zeal. Or, maybe I used my distractions toolkit (alcohol, shopping, avoiding feelings) to go on.
Nowadays, though, I’m different. When I’m sad, I try and make it a point to slow down instead of reaching for that toolkit. Its hard. After years of denial, I feel some measure of shame when I don’t want to put on my suit of armor and slay the beasts.
This morning, I read the obituary of a good friend’s mother who passed away last week. I feel sad for my friend. As has always been the case, it’s easier for me to feel sadness for a friend’s loss than my own. (Many boys and men found it easier to cry at AT&T commercials and “Brian’s Song” than real life.)
In reality, I’m probably mourning my own father and other personal losses, but that kind of grief is still evolving.
Still, I feel better having taken some time today to meditate, to write about this and share it. That’s my three things for the morning.
May you find the courage to keep it simple, if need be, too.
