I haven’t been writing, but I certainly have been living a life worth writing about. Allow me to catch you up a bit…
Our little home in the countryside has become a sanctuary for our youngest daughter, her closest friend and her canine companion. When we come home from work, it’s like it was in years past – two beautiful girls and a furry friend greeting us. I like it.
As you know, the reason for our current situation is a sad one. Our daughter lost her boyfriend to a tragic accident in Guatemala on March 9. As such, the mood here can move from light to dark just as the earth turns. We are never far from either the warmth of the sun or the shadow of the moon.
At the same time, our music and mindfulness work with children has been consistent and extremely fulfilling. Today marks the end of two weeks that saw us teaching our program, “Mindfulness in Motion”for six-seven periods every day. We have been doing non-stop dancing, yoga, and meditation with K-6 students. We are tired, yes, but we are thankful for the opportunity to affect these young lives with messages that will, I believe, resonate for a lifetime.
Although I have improved my ability to connect using my true, emotional self, I still have a long way to go before I fully defrost my feeling self. I don’t know if it was the messages I received as a boy (don’t cry, don’t be angry, smile!) or the trauma of divorce, but I continue to feel less than when it comes to accessing the range of my emotions. I accept that it’s a journey, but it sure does make me feel incomplete at times.
Beth and the young women in my home cry so often and easily. I admire their ability to do so from across the room where I sit quietly wishing that I could join them.
As I write this, though, the tears are coming. I am thankful for writing because it gives me the chance to be who I am rather than to worry about who I am not.
On Tuesday, we fly to San Diego for the funeral. Our eldest daughter will meet us there. We rented a nice apartment near the beach. I hope it will be healing for us all.
