“Part of my character is made up of an obsession to push something to the limit. It can be of great use if my obsession is channeled into constructive thought or creativity, but it can also be mentally or physically or spiritually destructive. I think what happens to an artist is, when he feels the mood swings that we all suffer from if we’re creative, instead of facing the reality that this is an opportunity to create, he will turn to something that will stop that mood, stop that irritant. And that would be drink or heroin or whatever. He won’t want to face that creative urge, because he knows the self-exploration that must be undertaken, the pain that must be faced. This happens most, or very painfully, to artists. Unless they realize what it is that is doing that to them, they’ll always be dabbling in something or other to kill it.” Eric Clapton, Rolling Stone Interview, 1985.
When I re-read this old Clapton interview, I had the same reaction that Beth did when I spoke it out loud to her – OUCH!
The dark shadow a creative has to encounter and pass-through is very painful. The alternative is denial.
Of course, there are times when we move into the light when the urge to create comes on and we move into it freely. This is heaven on earth for me.
The darkness isn’t all bad, of course. We get to write, paint or make some pretty cool stuff that we find in the shadows of our trauma or even current events. This can be cathartic for the writer and the audience. Also, anyone who has been involved in therapy or other growth work can point to epiphanies that have changed their lives because they dove into their trauma.
All of that said, what really interests me about the Clapton quote and my work today is that I keep showing up and keep creating. I need to keep my foot on the gas pedal so I don’t roll to a stop.
What’s important here – and I really want it to be my credo – is that I keep writing, that I choose to compose here, in the book or in a song INSTEAD of falling into a TV, social media or a bagful of peanut M&Ms. It makes me happy.
NOTE: The work product that comes out of this state doesn’t have to be brilliant! It’s better to write something that will never see the light of day than nothing at all. This may be the case with the lyrics below. It’s just wordsmithing, sometimes.
Both of these lyrics are simple, straightforward songs with similar structures. The first one is from the perspective of a woman telling her life story, but there’s a bit of my life story in there, too. The second is a more personal reflection on a feeling a lot of us get when near the water.
©2022 Scott Bierko
Of the River
©2022 Scott Bierko
Money comes and goes
But memories remain
It’s why we’re on the road
Instead of in the game
We took a bunch of troubles
And let that vision go
It wasn’t really working, and
We’re better in the flow
Of the river
Outside this town
That winding river
I love that sound
Of the river
Of the river
Of the river
Whenever life gets heavy
We go and clear our heads
To breathe in mountain air and
Sense the beauty here instead
A place that we are drawn to
A moment we can spend
Walking to the bridge, and
Moving right around the bend
Of the river
Outside this town
That winding river
I love that sound
Of the river
Of the river
Of the river
I had a dream that I was lost somewhere deep inside the woods
My heart was beating faster I thought, “Now, I’m done for good.”
That’s when I heard a sound that made me light up like a star
And the river spoke to me and said, “I know just where you are.”
(I’m) Of the river
Outside this town
That winding river
I love that sound
Of the river
Of the river
Of the river
