Awakening

Spending time with a good friend, I was able to admit something out loud that scares and depresses me. Ready for this? Most mornings I wake up with a sense of dread. Yup. My first feeling as I open my eyes is fear.

My friend looked at me and said, “You, too?”

There have been some times in my life when the fear spiked, but never for as long as it has in these past couple of weeks.

As we discussed this, I noticed some other things that my friend and I share. Despite our fear, sadness or fatigue – we go on. Both of us do our work, spend time with friends and family and try like heck to be loving all day long. We both meditate, hike and create. And we both love to laugh.

Being “happy” and waking up with a spring in my step is fantastic. And I’ve been fortunate to have more than my share of happiness. I’m extremely grateful every day for my health, wife, family, friends, talents and so much more.

If this trip has taught me anything, it’s the old phrase “this too shall pass.” Our Adventure is, by its very nature, transient so it makes logical sense that the emotions will follow suit. In fact, I’ve prayed long and hard over the years for God to help me grow through challenges. I’m sure I’ve talked about that in past blogs, so I won’t go into it today. Suffice it to say that I’m getting what I want. I’m growing and changing, shedding and becoming more aware – of the joy and the pain that is inside and around me. It’s intense.

Here’s a song about fear: https://scottbierko.bandcamp.com/track/fear-itself

I share this because it feels good to put it down “on paper” or in a song. Also, I am certain that I’m not alone. Like my friend and I, I am sure that many of us are waking up these days with profound dread, worry or anxiety. The world is in a tough place. We know it and, most dramatically, a lot of us feel it. To be tuned into this is – hopefully – the end of our ignorance and the harbinger of a heartfelt and important revolution. May it be so.

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