Anxiety & Art

Greetings from Croton Point, NY where we’ll be until Friday. Then we need a place to stay for Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights. Please lmk if you have a level spot in the area!

Having completed five presentations and songwriting workshops for The John Lennon Real Love Project, it’s incumbent upon your’s truly to mix the audio and create the final product, a music video for each school. This brings up a measure of anxiety as I approach it and pure enjoyment as I move through it.

A little history…

When it comes to PA equipment and computers, a part of me is ALWAYS anticipating that some link in the chain will break. I think a lot of technophobes AND technogeeks feel the same. That’s why I always breathe a sigh of relief when I hear our guitar and voices coming out of the PA at a gig or hear John Lennon’s piano and vocal when it comes time to record the kids dueting with him.

So, why do I worry? After nearly 30 years in this business and another 10 when I was a gigging teenager, why does my brain say, “Holy Shit! It’s a gig”? The facts don’t support my fears. I am experienced and smart and I have Beth next to me to troubleshoot if, for some reason, I feel overwhelmed.

This is not an isolated issue, so therapists, life coaches and armchair psychologists prepare yourself for analysis. The same part of my brain that worries about the equipment worries when I take out my guitar to sing for adults. And there, too, all the data supports that I’m pretty darn great at writing, playing, singing, or performing. I know that I have a gift and it’s one that people want to experience.

I wonder if any of you have this experience, too? If so, please let me know. Maybe we can split the cost of a rockstar therapist and get this stuff behind us. Ha! Or, maybe, just maybe, it’s a waste of money to try and get rid of something that just “is”. This is where the acceptance comes in.

My friend, Jeff C., says that he has never met an artist who is NOT insecure. This leads me to believe that the trick – as I’ve said in my blog many times – is to know that while worry and fear are present, they don’t have to be in control. The game is won by those who have knocking knees some days and still get up and dance.

It still annoys me that anxiety is present. I’m still fighting the idea that I can’t get rid of it once and for all. And that, my friends, is why we anxious people drink, eat a family-sized bag of peanut M&Ms or shop. And did I mention shop?

And here’s a song about that: https://scottbierko.bandcamp.com/track/shopping-spree-2

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