When our daughter, Steph, used to come home after being away for an extended period, it would take her some time to settle in. Then, it would be difficult to leave because she HAD settled in!
I can relate to this because every time we spend more than one week at a place, I feel anxious leading up to departure. Such is the case today. Tomorrow, we pull up stakes and return to the road and I’m a bit of a jangly mess this morning.
If you’ve followed this blogger for awhile, my emotional states will not surprise you. The Adventure has consistently triggered old, anxious resistance to change. And, it’s true, I am always able to work my way through them until I feel a bit sunnier.
Over the past three weeks we have encountered A LOT of change. We left the south, returned to NY, released a new CD and did some challenging work in the schools. In addition, we spent time with family, friends and like everyone else – experienced Ukraine, the Pandemic, another school shooting and the Roe v. Wade stuff. It’s a lot for our central nervous systems to handle.
So, anxiety is normal. I’m normal. And I’m guessing you are, too, when you think about spending the day in bed, running away or having a drink or three. This stuff is hard. My scared, inner child self wants to hide some days.
Recovery (something I’m in thanks to not drinking and attending ACA) is no picnic. We encounter our feelings, sometimes for the first time, as we move from our false self to our true self. Like it or not, maturing in this way is, as I said, hard stuff.
Good news, though – I can do just about anything now. I’m tougher even though I’m more vulnerable. The Adventure and all the steps leading up to it have helped me find more inner strength, outer kindness and self-love.
Recovery is recovering who we really are. And that is The Adventure! As my friend, Gary, likes to say, “Onward and Upward!”
See you in the Catskills!