In my last post, I talked about where Beth and I might spend the holidays. The answer, as of last night, is in the land of my birth – Westchester. It’s gonna be a family thing.
Apparently, my stepfather, Jim, voiced his opinion that he is looking forward to Thanksgiving. He said this from a rehabilitation facility where he is recovering from many months of laying in bed with severe back pain. I can’t NOT hear that.
So, in one respect we’re doing a 180-degree turn, but it’s a balanced pirouette. Instead of doing what I/we “really, really, REALLY want to do,” we’re doing what we know is good and right. I did not agonize over this decision. Jim is someone I love and who loves me. His health status continues to be “fragile” and none of us knows how many Thanksgivings the man has left in him.
Losing Bradley has taught me many lessons including that life ends. And with it ends the ability to hear their voice or, in the case of Bradley, give him a scratch behind his ears. Just this morning, for example, I thought, “Oh, don’t trip on him,” while getting out of bed only to recall, “No. He’s gone, Scott.”
A similar thing happens, once a month or so, with my deceased father. I see something silly and my next thoughts are, “He’d like that. I should call…Nope.”
As I wrote yesterday, a holiday is just a day. And pleasure? Yeah, it is important for me to do what I really, really, REALLY want…but not all the time.
You can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you just might find. You get what you need. Jagger and Richards
I live my life by the Serenity Prayer, now, where I make lots of little decisions, but often cede the big things over to the Big Guy in the Sky. This is a wise move because at best I’m a .333 hitter when it comes to making good life decisions. And when I strike out? It’s usually because I was swinging at a wild pitch when I really, really, REALLY wanted to get a hit. I can be impatient.
In this life, it’s often better to wait. If we remain in our seats and let events unfold, they usually turn out better than if we had acted earlier. Such was the case with Thanksgiving. And the question, “what am I going to do over the holidays,” was answered for me with the simple decision, “I need to be with my tribe this year.” And so it will be.
Zen and the Art of Family.