That Hokey Pokey Feeling

Is it just me or does world seems kind’ve off?I’m not speaking scientifically about the planet’s axis or position in the solar system, though that may be a contributing factor, but more of the way we humans and the planet we inhabit have arrived at a crisis point.

Those of you who have read this blog know that I’ve been struggling (some may say, “overthinking”) for about a year. In my thorough self-analysis (and therapy), I’ve moved forward with the thesis that my dis-ease was an internal problem with a solution to be found.

Let’s see…

I’ve considered grief, no longer owning a home or being separated from the place, friends and family we knew in Westchester. I’ve also been deeply immersed with step work in Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA). Lastly, I’ve also struggled with aging. My parents are in a senior living residence and that means I’m getting older, too.

But there’s more and, if I’m right, the fear many of us are sensing comes from an external source.

Let’s face it, the news is overwhelming. Everything going on around us is tragic. A decade ago, it was school shootings, racism and the war in Afghanistan. The problems facing us now make those seem like idyllic times. You can make your own list without my help. It just really, really feels hopeless some days as if the human race and the planet are no longer functioning well.

And that’s my point. Efforts to right our internal attitude are insufficient compared to the sheer intensity of what is going on around us. Yes, we have moments of bliss, but they are momentary. These days, it feels like we’re shifting the deck chairs on the Titanic. And that means we’ve already hit the iceberg.

In my ACA work, I have discovered for the umpteenth time that the only way through this is letting go and letting God lead. This is the #1 answer and it’s way all 12 steps center in. That said, Falling down in on our knees is still hard for me and most of us. I’m a workaholic and a bit of a control enthusiast and I know I’m not alone.

In addition, as a white male I’ve been conditioned to believe that everything’s gonna be alright because I live in America and my government won’t let me down. All I have to do is work hard, be good and get up when I fall. This is the Horacio Alger myth we all grew up with and it is, unfortunately, outmoded. Our society and our planet have transcended the efficacy of that model.

As a result. I’m worried. It reminds me of a bumper sticker that said, “If you’re not scared, you’re not paying attention.” That meme stands in opposition to another one I purchased for friends that read, “What if the Hokey Pokey IS what it’s all about?”

One of these is funny as shit. One of these is just shitty.

I’m really an optimist, an idealist who works with schools and partners who believe that the world CAN be a better place for everyone. So, despite the dark tone of this post, I’m really hoping that we are passing through a collective nightmare that will teach us important, world-changing lessons when we wake up. I guess you could say that a part of me, the heart of me, refuses to give up on us.

I hope you feel the same.

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