Oftentimes, I ask myself, Beth, or a friend, “Why?”
Why do you want to want take that course? That job? Or color your hair purple? WHY?
In these moments, I am challenging myself or others to defend their choice.
A current example…
I am considering taking a session with our group leader. Melanie. It’s called Soul Retrieval. In truth, I know many of the reasons WHY to do it already (knowledge, growth, etc). But WHY didn’t feel like the right question.
I decided to pray on it a bit.
When I have a question, I invoke my Higher Power, ancestors and anyone else in the spiritual world who can help me. Heck, I even asked the recently departed Martin Mull to offer his guidance.
I asked these Guides, “ Should I take the session?” (They like direct questions.) The response I got back was, “Why not?” It’s as if I’m seeing an ancestor shrugging his shoulders and saying, “Don’t think about it too much, Scott. Just do it.”
WHY NOT? gets to the heart of my self-imposed limitations. It shows me that I’m afraid of something. WHY, by contrast, is mostly an exercise in logic. Why is in my head. Why Not feels a little freer. (It also sounds like Jerry Seinfeld.)
Maybe, Why Not is like a a playful invitation to jump into the pool with a devil-may-care scream. Why is serious and warns that a decision might be irrevocable. (It might be cold!)
This involves big decisions, too.
A couple of years ago, we sold our home because of the Whys. We took off on an RV trip for 7 months, however, because of the Why Nots.
We show up at our music gigs at schools because of Whys. We have fun with the kids and their teachers because – Why Not?
Get it? Here’s another way to think of it.
Our friend, Gary, often asks me to join him in some sort of action like going to a ballgame, donating some time to a blood drive or having an ice cream. If I say “no” he immediately asks, “Well, how about now?” This always makes me rethink my initial choice and makes me laugh at how often I reject an idea for really silly reasons. “Why Not?” is a similar question. It asks one to go sideways and skip logic.
In the last few years, Beth and I have progressed from individual perseveration (heavy Why) to collaboration (medium Why) and now I sense we’re moving into the next phase – trust (low Why and Why Not). The Universe has always had a blueprint for us and we are beginning to allow and accept it – regardless of joy or pain. Why not?
This is a HUGE leap for me and most of us. Our healer friend, Melanie, has nicknamed it “Fuck It,” because it requires a cliff dive that goes against the grain of always preserving our safety. It’s not stupid risk, but it is risking ones desire to remain in comfort.
I will let you know what happens, but from this point it feels absolutely right to say, Why Not?
