Tonight we watched a documentary about David Chase, the creator and show runner for The Sopranos, a series Beth and I watched twice. I was less interested in Chase than I was in seeing the actors again and watching them play the roles that were likely the highlight of their careers.
I wonder what my iconic role will end up being?
Will it be one of my professional selves like the somewhat goofy, somewhat fatherly children’s performer I inhabited for 30+ years for 3-7 year olds? Maybe it will it be the breadth of songs and shows we wrote to teach kids how to be better, healthier and kinder? Or will it be the facilitator, composer, producer and video editor behind The John Lennon Real Love Project?
When I think about my greatest creation, though, it’s none of the above. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again- our greatest triumph is the hardest and happiest and the most collaborative one of all – our marriage.
Recently, one of my friends ended a ten year relationship. Previous to that, he was married twice. Sadly, many people marry and divorce multiple times while others have never had a single long term partner.
Yes. Beth and I are lucky. As someone once said, “If I could pick being talented or being lucky, I’d choose luck every time.”
I also give God a lot of the credit. Beth and I met when she was a bartender and I popped in for a business lunch. It was Kismet, fate and magic.
We’ve also benefited from tremendous support from our community of friends and family. I’m truly grateful for the way doors were opened for me to be with Beth’s family and the same was true for her.
Lastly, I give credit to a team of life coaches, psychic healers, shamans and therapists. Beth and I have surrounded ourselves with wonderful teachers, caring men and women who have taught us hundreds of lessons.
But none of this would have worked without grit. From almost the first date, we were smitten, it’s true, and that kind of attraction is priceless. However, I think our greatest secret is our unwavering commitment to making our marriage evolve, our friendship grow stronger and our partnership become increasingly collaborative. That’s hard work.
Our marriage thrives on listening, but it also depends on us speaking our truth.
Our marriage expects us to try our best but it also makes space for acceptance and forgiveness when we inevitably falter.
A marriage, unlike a song, is never finished. I didn’t understand that when I was twenty and I didn’t like it when I was forty. But now, I get it. Marriage, like a garden, requires constant tending. It thrives in the light and responds to clever pruning. And it always, always feels more rewarding when we stand hand in hand and know that everything we’ve done begins and ends with our love for one another.
