Not every doctor knows enough to diagnose every ailment. In fact, you may need many more opinions or have to switch to another modality to achieve a healthy outcome.
Sometimes, an auto mechanic will not be able to fix your car the first time. He may need a few chances or another mechanic to get it right.
Just because someone calls themselves a therapist (of any kind) does not mean that they have the experience to properly treat every patient. In fact they might give you bad information or makes things worse.
All of the above have happened to me and the last two took place last week!
An auto mechanic we like and trust came across a situation that required more time and research to get it right and a massage therapist I used went too deep. As a result, I spent $1000 on our truck and for seven days I was hobbled by lower back pain the likes of which I have not experienced in over 20 years. Tough week.
In both cases, I felt some anger and frustration. But I am also wise enough to realize that no one was trying to inconvenience, hurt or cheat me. Shit happens, right?
If I turn this around, I know that our services or skills have sometimes fallen short of the mark. This was true when we were newcomers in our field and didn’t know very much. Even last month (see last post) when something we created was rejected by the client is an example of how we still are quite imperfect.
“You can’t be all things to all people,” goes the saying.
I think I’m learning the same lesson over and over, too: I cannot guarantee outcomes and neither can anyone. Parents and teachers aren’t perfect and the same goes for Presidents and (gulp) pilots. We humans can get really angry when someone fails us and feel shame when it’s us doing the failing.
The first step in 12 step programs is admitting that life is unmanageable. It’s so true. Whenever I think I’ve got it all figured out, the fickled finger of fate pokes me in the eye. And when I EXPECT other people to be flawless, I am often reintroduced to our imperfect humanness. As a friend says, “we are all works in progress.”
The deeper truth here is that forgiveness of others and ourselves begins with the knowledge that we are works in progress. Moreover, we need to get used to depending on friends, colleagues and a Higher Power if we want to reach our highest manifestation in this (probably) one lifetime.
Serenity is what I pray for, the ability to keep sailing, to remain even keeled, even when the seas become rough enough to capsize my little boat.
Oftentimes, my boat has passengers. As co-captains, Beth and I invite people to accompany us on a journey and do our best to bring everyone safely to the next port of call, hopefully with a good story to tell.
Under those conditions, I pray a lot for help. I seek the support and wisdom of others and, yes, we sometimes have to bail water when the seas get choppy. Such is life.
The muscles in my back will heal, the money will be replaced and whether the candidate I want to win succeeds on Tuesday or does not, I will pray for all of us and keep sailing.
May you have serenity. We’re going to need it.
