Beth and I have been talking a lot about the holidays. This time of year, we perform our show, “Happy Holidays Around the World,” at schools to great acclaim. But do we feel the magic of this season when we come off stage? Not really. I think we are among those who enjoy the holiday most when they are children or have children themselves. Not unlike Halloween, it’s a blast for kids.
Our children have grown and flown. As I write this, Steph is enjoying some time in Nicaragua with her friend, Weston, and Helen and her beau, Dan, are at home in Florida. We’re sad not to have them around us more, but our children are doing exactly what we modeled for them: leading lives based on their needs – not ours.
We don’t have any considerable pressure to be with our biological families. Beth’s parents are long gone and my parents are safely ensconced in a lovely senior residence in Westchester. We see them often, though not as frequently since we moved to Sullivan County. Beth’s family is in Pennsylvania, and she visited them over Thanksgiving.
Christmas feels like an institution, and institutions are man-made things that can last long (if maintained) or wither away if not. For us, the show we perform is enough. It’s fun to be with children who love the holiday AND it reminds us (and our audiences) that all are entitled to celebrate however they want. However, here’s an idea missing from the show: you can do none of it, and that’s okay, too.
Part of the reason I’m writing this down is to encourage all of us to let go of any shame for not living up to cultural, familial or religious obligations that no longer serve us. As adults we are entitled to find joy, peace and love in our own way.
What makes me happy is to write, learn, hug my wife, read, eat what I like, watch a little TV and have some substantive time (or laughs) with good friends. My spiritual life is on the yoga mat or in meditation/prayer, so attending church isn’t my thing.
I also HATE small talk. As my friend Bill says, “I like Soul Talk.” Amen, Brother Bill.
I guess you could say that the artificial happiness or joy of the season no longer energizes or interests me, though I have no judgment for those who love it. If I’m honest, I am a little jealous of the people who find it fulfilling, but I am counter-cultural. I don’t like a lot of things that others find necessary. I’m happy as a clam without social media, and, as it turns out, I have zero interest in Ho, Ho, Ho’ing after our shows are complete. Call me a Grinch, a Scrooge, or whatever – but I’m sticking with my plan to be an old fart who is happy with a nap and a snack.
