Sometime in the past, I used this space to dream of the day when I would turn off my cellphone for good. That day arrived by surprise earlier this week. Here’s what happened…
About three months ago, I noticed that my phone’s battery was requiring frequent charging, so I ordered a replacement one and the tools needed to restore it to full power. I went so far as to purchase a magnetized mat to keep track of all the little parts. Finally, I was ready to don my new identity as “Super Scott, the iPhone Repairman!”
If you ever feel inclined to replace the battery in your iPhone, my suggestion is to 1) take it to a skilled repairperson or 2) purchase a new phone. What I would NOT suggest is repariring it yourself because while the task is not overly complicated, the screws inside of the phone are so small (think of a gnat’s pubic hair) that working with them will certainly cause you emotional harm on a level that exceeds the cost or pride of being a DYI repairperson. That’s my opinion, anyway.
Having failed at this task, I was inclined to purchase a new iPhone immediately. Beth and I were set to travel the next day, so I drove to our local Spectrum facility, where they informed me that all phones were now being distributed by mail (too late for me) or in Middletown, NY – about an hour’s drive from our home. I made an appointment to go to Middletown.
Driving out of the Spectrum lot, though, I realized that I had two Zoom calls scheduled for the early evening and I would not make it back from Middletown on time. Additionally, I had no way of contacting the participants to tell them that I would not be able to make the Zoom calls. Abruptly, I pulled over and headed back home because skipping out on meetings without contacting friends and colleagues is totally uncool.
Arriving home, I paused because a series of questions came to me as I hung up my coat.
“Do you really want to replace the phone? Haven’t you been saying that you wanted to try life without it? And haven’t you noticed, Scott, that you are friggin’ addicted to that piece of metal in your pocket? Does anyone need to watch that many YouTube videos about politics or Shark Tank?”
A kind of peace came over me. My shoulders relaxed. Was it time to free myself from a device that had been with me for decades, one that I had long considered wonderful and essential? Was that true? There was only one way to find out. In that moment, I smiled. My inner knowing, the part of me that was smarter than our phone-obsessed culture, was kicking in.
When Beth and I left our regular jobs over thirty years ago, when we sold our beautiful (but too expensive) home, when we bought a truck and an RV and traveled the country, or when we began considering becoming ex-pats – these were all moments of inner knowing that flew in the face of established norms. This is when we discovered that there were two big choices in front of all of us: comfort or freedom.
Letting go of a cellphone is a big deal in today’s world. It’s going to change how I connect with friends, family, and colleagues (and vice versa). It’s going to make it more difficult to get from point A to B without a GPS. And it’s going to mean that I will have to take those little reminder cards at the dentist’s office instead of typing the date into my phone. It will mean that I won’t be able to look up every fact on Google or put my shopping list in my Notes app. And it will mean that when I want to reach out, watch a YouTube video or read a novel while sitting in my car, I will need to make other choices that, at first, will feel like I’ve just quit smoking cigarettes. In other words, there will be some small amount of pain.
I felt it yesterday when I considered going to the local grocery store in Lancaster. I didn’t know how to get there, so I had to type it into my laptop and then WRITE DOWN directions. Oh, my God! I remembered having to do that in the 1990’s. That’s how long I’ve used my phone as a travel guide. Woe is me!
I’m being a little overly dramatic here, of course, but it’s not going to be easy the first time I’m out in the middle of nowhere and I am lost without my trusty little pocket guide. I imagine I will feel some loss and question my decision in that moment.
But I hope that there will be many more moments that I discover the freedom from the ever-present need to stay connected at all times to something outside myself. I look forward to writing more, feeling more and being in nature more. And, ironically, I believe that I may get closer to friends, family and colleagues when I release myself from the dopamine hit that comes from the phone.
If you’re afraid or angry that you will not be able to connect with me, that my choice is selfish or silly. I get it. If this experiment becomes unworkable, I will revisit my choice. I’m already considering a dependable landline for our home and Beth is with me 99% of the time with her phone in her pocket. I will not disappear. I might just reappear as a better man, friend and connector.
Let’s see.
