Grief

One of the traps I can fall into I’ll call “logistical planning”. Of course, it’s great to be smart about getting ready for this big trip  – or any other life change – but not when it’s at the expense of one’s emotional well-being.

It’s right and good to feel grief. We’re leaving the home, where we raised our children and created our businesses.  We’re guving away most of the furniture, clothes, furniture and possessions we collected over thirty years. And we’re saying goodbye to a neighborhood and friends who have stood by us as we moved through parenthood. That’s a lot of change.

Feeling sad is a way of being present to our inner landscape, something that’s changing along with our outer surroundings.

I’ve lived in New York for most of my life, most of that within 20 minutes of my mother, and it’s rocking her world. I am sitting with her and her grief, too, trying to not feel any shame while we pursue this adventure. Luckily for me, my mom has always given me roots and wings. She and my step-dad are happy for me and sad, too. Roots and Wings.

Someone once said, “True adulthood is when you can feel two distinct and seemingly opposite emotions at the same time.” True.

As a sort of Buddhist, letting go and detaching is on target with my personal and spiritual development . My things are just that – things – and they pale in comparison to my relationship with Beth, my passion for the Arts and a bunch of friends and family who I will likely stay in-touch with.

In other words, I am separating myself from what I want and focusing on what I need.

Still, we are going to rent a 10′ x 10′ storage container for some stuff.  Our agreement is to limit rental to six months. In the event that we don’t love the RV lifestyle, we want to have a few things like a bed to begin a new life somewhere. It took us a long time to come to this decision, but now we’re grieving the loss of one thing at a time – letting them go and, ironically, feeling fuller and more balanced.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *