Baggage

For those who are coming to this space for the first time, welcome! We are Beth & Scott Bierko, once homeowners in Yorktown Heights, NY and currently living the life of full-time RVers. After a one-month trial trip in August of 2021, we decided that it was time to sell our home while the market was high. We purchased a truck and off we went in February 2022. Our Adventure has many goals: to see the country and meet her people, to determine if there’s another place we want to plant some roots and to try out a mobile work/life balance. Along the way, we decided to keep a journal in the form of this blog. It’s a place where we tell the tales of the things we do, but as importantly, where we can share the thoughts and feelings that come up during constant change. Thank you for being here, and for choosing to be a traveling buddy!

As I’ve said before, we choose the physical stuff we want to have with us when we travel, but there’s little choice but to bring all of our emotional baggage! Whether I wanted to or not, I brought grief over leaving my home, my family and friends. I brought fear about living in close quarters with my wife, what it would be like to work on the road and what work I would be doing as a career in the future. Down deep, I probably packed some anger, too, about the effect the pandemic had on arts in the schools.

I also brought along some pleasurable stuff! I packed my hopes, curiosity and an ample amount of love for myself, Beth and the journey.

This morning, I was walking Bradley when a man in a pickup truck stopped to have a chat. His name is Jay and he’s the only other RVer parked in this small, beautiful park. We agreed that it was strange to be here without lots of other campers. Typically, RV campgrounds are booked pretty solid in the spring and summer.

Jay told me that he was having a difficult week. He’s recently divorced, so he deals with bouts of loneliness, especially when the weather is grey and cloudy like it is today. I admitted to him that I, too, was feeling a little sad. We talked about life on the road – the really great parts and the unique challenges – and I wondered out loud about what it was like to be single on the road. (I’ve met a lot of single travelers and no one had yet admitted to any sadness or loneliness.) To his credit, Jay was able to share some of the emotional baggage he brought with him on this trip.

There’s a lot to be said for restarting, for selling your belongings and experiencing the lightness that comes with the RV life. However, there are hours, days or weeks when the more complicated emotions visit us, when a heaviness descends and we wonder, “what the hell am I doing with my life?” or “This sucks!”

The last 24 hours have been heavy for me. Since returning from yesterday’s hike, I’ve felt a mixture of grief and fear. Lucky for me, I have Beth, a sponsor in ACA, a life coach and lots of friends and family I can talk to about my feelings. And that’s the key – I talk to them. I don’t stew in this alone. Sure, I have to do some deep, internal digging, but I don’t do it in complete isolation.

So, for the second afternoon in a row, I will endeavor to do less, to take care of myself by meditating and resting. I will eat the healthy foods that are part of our Spring Cleanse and I will talk to Beth about what I’m feeling.

Thank you for being here to read this. I know that we’re not in the same room or even in the same state, but I believe that are hearts are connected. I send you my blessings and gratitude.

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