It’s nearly 10am on a Monday morning and I’m still in bed. I got a flu shot yesterday and everything including my teeth hurt. Now, after taking some pain reliever, I could be up and beginning my day, but I’m lying here, instead, listening to the sudden bursts of rain on the metal roof of our little home.
Everything is fine – sort of. Calls are coming in for future work, my stepfather looks to be in better shape after a pneumonia scare and our grief over Bradley isn’t stopping us from moving through life, being with friends, seeing a play or writing songs.
On the other hand, our kids aren’t calling and the political, environmental and economic landscapes are a mess and many of my friends are enduring much worse. So there’s all that.
Wherever one looks, there is a problem over here and a delight over there. My feelings change depending on where I place my focus. Like a photographer, I can choose to capture the light or the shadow.
My stomach is saying, “what the heck are you doing in bed, Scott?”
I don’t know about you, but my stomach is the place where anxiety and shame meet and cause havoc. They wrestle around with my zen state and send discomfort up to my brain. Sometimes, this delivery system gets me up and moving. So, as I write this my brain and stomach are attempting to spur me towards the shower and the work day.
Usually, I listen to these legacy messages of my mother’s morning command to “get up for school, Scott!” Or When I was a teen, I used to play a game – an uncomfortable one – where I’d stay in bed as long as I could and see if I could still make it to high school on time. If I made it, I’d get up five minutes later the next day. I’m sure a psychologist would have fun with that one.
Then, I look at this page and realize that I am keeping my commitment to myself and to you to write nearly every day for ten months. This is a deLIGHTful thought and I just took a mental photo of it.
My stomach just stopped churning. Why? Because I moved my focus towards the light. We humans have that power!
The phone just rang. It was the animal hospital informing me that Bradley’s ashes are there and ready for pickup. Sigh. Dust to dust, ashes to ashes.
Yesterday, I picked up Paul’s 12-string, a custom-made baritone instrument. I composed two songs on the guitar – one moody (Shadow) and one pop song (Light). I recorded the pop one and I really like it. Perhaps I’ll use it as the closer on my new politically-minded EP, “Liars and Thieves.”
I’m calling the sing “Hooray”. It’s a childlike, fantasy song about the moment when we all decide to stop the division in our country and have a picnic to celebrate the end if acrimony. If you know Jack Johnson’s work (or Pharrel William’s “Happy”), that’s probably what it will sound like. Here’s the first draft of the lyric…
Hooray ©2022 Scott Bierko Take me to the river That's where we all belong Where we can have a good time And we'll all get along We will have a happy day We will find a peaceful way Life is good and we can say Hooray Hooray Hooray Sit down here beside me We can lay our burdens down Then we can laugh together And you can lose your frown We will have a happy day We will find a peaceful way Life is good and we can say Hooray Hooray Hooray Take me to the river That's where we all belong Where we can have a good time And we'll all get along We will have a happy day We will find a peaceful way Life is good and we can say Hooray Hooray Hooray