Every day, I receive a daily meditation from the folks at Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families (ACA). Here’s a part of todays message:
“…we are clear that we are on a spiritual path and that every situation is a spiritual lesson. There is no way to fail on this path. Failure is the domain of our inner critic’s all-or-nothing thinking. As we learn to see this for what it is, we filter everything around us through our inner loving parent. We become attuned to our Inner Child’s quiet and steady voice as it tells us the better course for our spiritual, physical, and emotional development. We release our fears.”
Honestly, I’ve been much more afraid of success than failure in my life. On many occasions, my inner critic has prevented me from climbing, not falling. He looks around at those who easily walk on the high wire of success and he says, “ that’s not for you.”
Last week, though, something shifted. When I walked away from 3 days of songwriting with the 18-21 year olds at Covenant House, a NYC facility for homeless or abused youths, I felt more confident than ever before. I felt powerful in my abilities as a facilitator. I recognized that my combination of skills was rare, that I was capable of climbing further up the high wire of my profession.
Enter the inner critic who says, “Get off that wire, Scott!”
But a much stronger, loving voice in my heart says , “You are ready.” This is HUGE for an ACA guy. We have learned to hide in plain sight, to carefully avoid causing you pain by shining too brightly. How screwed up is that?
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you notto be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.” Marianne Williamson
Those who have followed my journey on these pages know that I have struggled with the emotions that come with change and growth, that I alternate between intense joy and sadness. Sometimes, I feel like my readers know me better than I know myself! In fact, when I stayed with Blake, recently, he kept nodding his head as if to say “I know.” And he did. Blake is one of a group of people who have been with me daily since December 2021.
Some of you folks are my audience. And I need you, honestly, to read my words, to witness my changes so that these thoughts jangling in my head have somewhere to go. Thank you. You have so many things competing for your attention and you come here.
Some of you are friends new and old, people who share time with Beth and I. My belief is that our success and growth means something to you. Wow. That’s really cool. Thank you in behalf of us both.
A few you are my family of origin or my chosen family, folks in my most inner circle. We share with one another and are, in some cases, like brothers and sisters. Thank you. You folks go out of your way, sharing your homes, treasure and time with us. We all need people like this!
So, wherever you are seated in the circus tent that is Scott’s life, thank you for being here. It’s my hope that I will continue to earn your trust, be interesting and touch something inside of you, now and then.
Nothing that I’ve done in this life has gained me more eyeballs than this sharing of my thoughts and feelings. I don’t know why, for sure, but my best guess is that I’m a good writer. However, I suspect that your interest isn’t about my use of grammar or sentence structure. Others are funnier, cleverer and lead lives full of more danger and excitement.
So, why am I read? For some, I deliver on a need. You fellow travelers crave connection, honesty, spirituality or all three. These people are on the search for True Self in a world that has begun the process of rejecting the old ways we experienced as “truth” that no longer ring true. That was part of the impetus to sell our home, hit the road and rediscover America. And that leads to rediscovering our selves. Glad to have you aboard.
Or it might be that you love Bradley, RV life or the ideas artists play with. It’s all good. I’m just glad you’re here. Thank you. Please keep coming back.